Stumbling into the kitchen is something I have mastered here in my retirement. Once upon a time I use to get up... shower... put on deodorant... after shave...jump into my clothes and head out into the world. Now I bounce down the hall and hope that no one has moved the kitchen while I was sleeping.
I did not remember to make the coffee before I went to bed so I had that daunting task before me. While I was getting everything together I noticed spots passing before me. I at first thought I was having those dark spots I have heard people get latter in life...you know when they get old.. I'm not OLD!...what is this...FRUIT FLIES!
Before I ever got the first cup of coffee I found the fly swat and began to frantically run about the MH swatting everything that moved. I swatted at what I thought was flying objects and then I got to where I was just swatting madly.
Dust particles did not have a chance to land on anything. Black pepper...on the counter...that missed the plate...was shown no mercy by the mad swatter! Nothing was safe anywhere near me.
Finally after long minutes of fierce fighting I believed I had the situation under control. I poured my coffee and sat down at the computer. There on the computer screen were all the fruit flies waiting... unscathed...ready to torment me again.
A thought came to mind on what I could do to enhance the battle plan. My oldest son had given me an electric flies swatter for Fathers day last year. I know what you are thinking...OL SPEEDY has really lost it this time. Not So. I went out to the shop where I had hung it on the wall and loaded some batteries in it....
Now let me warn you this is NOT A TOY! Believe me... this thing is like a cattle prod on steroids.
This is not a Toy
After loading the swatter up I headed back into the MH and started a search and destroy mission. I first started swatting the flies and found out you could not swat the small Fruit Flies you had to pass this Death Ray through the air and when you came into contact with the enemy a spark would let you know that you had hit your target. No guessing with this weapon...No...you know immediately that you have scored.
I spent about 45 minutes pacing up and down the MH in search of flies. Once I got the hang of it...I was slaughtering those little buggers by the hand fulls!
When I thought I had killed them all I got another cup of coffee and sat down...once more at the computer...AHHH some of the flies had hidden once more on my screen thinking they were safe from the onslaught.
Now I knew I could not hit the screen of the computer...and for some strange reason I think they knew that too...Oh well that is another story. I waved my hand across the screen and when they flew up..SAP! I got them too.
I am so glad that Jason gave me this new...NOT A TOY...swatter. I will keep it loaded and when we are attacked again I will pull it out of storage and will Reek Havoc on the insect population...
Somewhere in Time
3 comments:
You crack me up, Speedy! I can just picture you running around the MH, waving the electrifying fly swatter back and forth!!
We LOVE our NOT A TOY swatter. It does a very good job on mosquitoes too. I hope you have them all and they didn't lay eggs.
When it's not drought time, we get those durn flies here in West Texas, too. I take a narrow-mouthed bottle, like a wine or water bottle, and put about a quarter-inch of vinegar in it. They fly in and drown by the dozens. Works every time.
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